I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
