At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Couch. On fire.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
