the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
