She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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