Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
