new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
