highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
