mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
