so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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