It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
