my soul wont recognize me after tonight
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
