i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
we're making bets on your personal life
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
