so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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