your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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