this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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