it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
