FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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