Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
