How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
