Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
ok first of all what the fuck
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
