am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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