I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
