Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
