So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
