Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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