We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Welp...herpes.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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