marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
