He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
