nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
