I wish i was in the wii world.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
