where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
