Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Damn. That makes sense

(1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems

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(850): View more from Florida

come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.

Fav 14 895 3725
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(256): View more from Alabama

Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me

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(815): View more from Illinois

its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young

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(206): View more from Washington

She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.

Fav 8 1022 1799
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(712): View more from Iowa

Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!

Fav 5 847 534
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(517): View more from Michigan

I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that

Fav 1 19 36
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