whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
