im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
