i already hear my dad disowning me
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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