i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
