DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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