the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
