Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
