My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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