she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
