Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
should my penis look like a turkey
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Randomize
