Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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