Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
