Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
