you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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