I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
