It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
