i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
