i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
