Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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