Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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